The Hardest Truth
One of the hardest pills I’m trying to swallow right now is the fact that people change. People change over time, whether you want to believe it or not. Whether it’s a matter of days, weeks, or months — — people change.
Relationships, friendships, families. People are constantly evolving, and there’s nothing a single one of us can do about it.
I dislike this fact of life.
After my life-altering break-up that almost broke me down and then down again, you’d think I’d be used to change. You’d think I’d know what to expect, how to handle such life-altering situations and prepare myself. Much to my surprise, I’m not.
Expectations.
This word is one in which can get you into trouble. Having expectations will cause you tons of hurt, anger and disappointment.
Having expectations sets you up for failure before you’ve even begun. We all think that, just because people should act a certain way, that’s the way that they need to act. Just because one should act this way or that in a relationship, friendship, or whatever situation they’re in, this isn’t always the case. People are not always going to act the way in which you believe one should act. Having expectations in whatever situation you are in throughout life will hurt you.
A friendship that I thought would have lasted a long time is slowly dwindling. At least it feels like that to me. A big problem that I struggle with is learning how to love myself. By not loving myself and who I am, it makes me co-dependent on other people. And I hate it. I was very co-dependent in my four-year relationship with my ex, it was sickening. Looking back at it. And now, I’m co-dependent on this specific person. Without talking to this person everyday, I’d be lost; I’d go crazy thinking about them, wondering why they aren’t texting me, wondering what they’re doing, why they haven’t checked up on me. Why they aren’t missing and thinking about me like I am them. And it’s not even a romantic relationship. It’s just a really, really good friend I’ve grown to love.
Here, I’m talking to my friends about this friendship going south, and they all tell me the same thing:
“People change, Erin. People change everyday. Nobody stays the same forever, things change. What might have been isn’t the same now. This is just a fact of life. Change is unavoidable”.
The change in this friendship has constantly been on my mind, like a little bug that just won’t leave me alone. I’ve told myself not to worry about it; I’m just overthinking things way too much. A really good friend of mine once said, “You gain new friends everyday and you lose old ones. People come and go everyday. This is life, it’s perfectly normal. You are just experiencing life and things change all the time. It is not the end of the world, you are stronger than you think”.
This may be the hardest truth of life, but are some people strong enough to make it through?
❤❤
